A bully often

• Seeks to dominate and/or manipulate others.
• Enjoys feeling powerful and in control (whether real or not).
• Is both a poor winner (boastful and arrogant) and a poor loser.
• Seems to derive satisfaction from other’s fears, discomfort, or pain.
• Is good at hiding behaviors or doing them where adults can’t notice.
• Is excited by conflicts between others.
• Blames others for his/her problems.
• Displays uncontrolled anger.
• Has a history of discipline problems.
• Displays a pattern of impulsive and chronic hitting, intimidating, and aggressive behaviors.
• Has a history of violent and aggressive behaviors.
• Displays intolerance and prejudice towards others.
• May use drugs, alcohol or be a member of a gang.
• Lacks empathy towards others.

IF YOU THINK YOUR CHILD IS A BULLY

• Be sure that your child knows that bullying is NOT acceptable behavior.
• Tell your child the penalties for bullying and be sure that you enforce them fairly and consistently.
• Help your child learn alternative ways to deal with anger and frustration.
• Teach and reward more appropriate behavior.
• Work out a way for your child to make amends for the bullying.
• Help your child develop an understanding of the impact of their bullying on the target.
• Seek help or counseling if the behavior continues.
• If contacted by the school, STAY CALM; TRY NOT TO BECOME ANGRY AND DEFENSIVE! Make yourself really listen. Remember this is ultimately about the well-being of your child!

Prevent your child from becoming a BULLY:

• Present yourself as a model of non-violent behavior.
• Clearly state that violence is not acceptable.
• Assist your child in finding non-violent strategies for anger management and conflict resolution.
• Seek help from mental health/school counselors to help stop bullying and aggressive behavior.

Excerpt from www.samhsa.gov