I always thought bipolar was extreme lows and highs. After watching a program on bipolar (yes it was Oprah) I thought that maybe for the last 15 years i have been misdiagnosed. With medicad it is hard to get good health care. After what we in our house call an episiode I find myself feeling hopeless with this. I was diagnosed with major depression years ago and anxiety. I have to take three different types of meds. I rarely sleep without taking medicne and even then it is hard. I have anxiety attacks. Periods of depression,anger, and times when i am just not myself. even with medicine i have atleast 3 episodes a year of either a major depression, or some time of breakdown where i am so upset i can not calm down. i am so tired of playing the medicine game. I do know that I have to be on some type of medicine. I do know that I can not handle any type of stress. It is very hard for me to maintain a routine but i find that helps. I don;t drink or do drugs. I used to get so upset that i would hit my head against the walls. this was when i was not medicated or was going off and on medicines. I have even had to take medicine when pregenant (when i have found to not have any depression problems at all and over all a good mood) I seem to fit all of the symptons of bipolar except the mania. I do go through periods where i will do goofy things like put makeup on my son when he sleeps or talk excessively or get overly sensitive about issues. It is just so hard sometimes. I fear my children will have the same problems as my oldest has had what i now believe to be an anxiety attack. My children don't like thinkgs most kids like like disneyland, rides, holloween, my daughter is terrified to have a birthday party , but she is only three. I really wish I had a could doctor i could built a relationship with. the clinic i have gone to has a huge employee turn around rate. YOu can not get counseling well you can see one once a month but that is not counseling. I know I have a problem and can not seem to get the right help. |
Posted by: MECHELL 10/5/2007 11:52:19 AM
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